Why it works
Why repeating the routine matters more than getting it perfect
When the same steps happen in the same order, children know what comes next. That predictability helps their body and mind wind down, and cuts down on negotiating. A simple routine you can do every night, even when you are tired, works better than an elaborate one you only manage sometimes.
The routine
A simple sequence that works
Many families use a version of the AAP's "brush, book, bed" routine:
- Wash and change
A bath or a quick wash, then pyjamas. Keep the lights low from here on.
- Brush teeth and use the toilet
Do it at the same point in the routine each night.
- Read a book together
One or two stories in bed, or in a quiet spot. Agree the number of books before you start.
- Say goodnight the same way
A cuddle, a song or a short phrase you always use, then lights out.
Tip: a picture chart of the steps helps young children follow along and gives them a sense of control.
How much sleep
How much sleep children need
These ranges, recommended by the American Academy of Sleep Medicine and endorsed by the AAP, include naps. Work backwards from your child's usual wake-up time to find a bedtime that fits.
| Age | Recommended sleep per 24 hours |
|---|---|
| 4 to 12 months | 12 to 16 hours, including naps |
| 1 to 2 years | 11 to 14 hours, including naps |
| 3 to 5 years | 10 to 13 hours, including naps |
| 6 to 12 years | 9 to 12 hours |
For example, a 3-year-old who wakes at 7am and naps for an hour might need to be asleep between about 8pm and 9pm.
Setting the scene
A bedroom that supports sleep
Dark
Dim lights during the routine and keep the room dark. A small night light is fine if it helps.
Quiet
Keep noise low. Some families use steady background sound.
Comfortably cool
A room that is not too warm helps children stay asleep.
No screens
Turn off screens at least an hour before bed, and keep them out of the bedroom.
Babies should always be put to sleep on their back, in a clear, flat sleep space. The NHS has more on safer sleep for babies.
Keeping it going
Consistency across carers and places
The routine works best when everyone who puts your child to bed follows the same steps.
- Share the routine with partners, grandparents and babysitters. A picture chart makes this easy.
- Take it with you when you are away: the same book, comfort toy and goodnight words help in a new place.
- Keep wake-up times steady, even at weekends, as far as you can.
- After a disruption such as illness, travel or a new sibling, go back to the usual routine as soon as possible.
Troubleshooting
When bedtime keeps stretching
| What happens | What to try |
|---|---|
| "One more story!" | Agree the number of books at the start, and point to your routine chart. |
| Calling out or getting up | Return them to bed calmly with few words. Brief, boring check-ins can reassure anxious children. |
| Asking for water or the toilet | Build these into the routine so they are already done. |
| Not tired at bedtime | Check daytime naps and wake-up time, and make sure they get outdoor play during the day. |
| Waking very early | Keep the room dark, and try a simple clock that shows when it's time to get up. |
A 7-night plan
Building the routine in a week
- Nights 1 to 2
Choose your 3 or 4 steps and a start time. Make a simple picture chart together.
- Nights 3 to 4
Follow the chart exactly, and bring the screen-off time forward to an hour before bed.
- Nights 5 to 6
Handle stalling calmly and consistently, using the same short words each time.
- Night 7
Notice what is working and adjust one thing only, such as the start time.
When to talk to a doctor
Speak to your GP or health visitor if your child:
- snores loudly most nights, gasps, or seems to stop breathing for short moments while asleep
- is very sleepy, irritable or struggling to concentrate during the day
- often has trouble falling asleep or staying asleep despite a good routine
- has frequent night terrors, sleepwalking or unusual movements in sleep
Sleep problems are common and often improve with the right support.
FAQ
Common questions
What time should my child go to bed?
It depends on their age, naps and wake-up time. Use the sleep ranges above and count back from when they usually wake up.
How long should the routine take?
Around 20 to 30 minutes is enough for most children. Longer routines can become harder to stick to.
Is it okay if I lie with my child until they fall asleep?
Many families do this, and it can be comforting. If you want your child to learn to fall asleep alone, you can gradually move further away over several nights.
Can a bath be part of the routine every night?
Yes, if it is calming for your child. A quick wash works just as well on busy nights.
Sources
Where this guide comes from
- American Academy of Pediatrics (HealthyChildren.org): Brush, book, bed
- American Academy of Pediatrics: How many hours of sleep does your child need?
- NHS: Helping your baby to sleep
- NHS: Reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome
- CDC: About sleep
This guide is general information, not medical advice. If you are worried about your child's sleep or breathing, speak to a health professional.
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